Brush up or Fluff up Your Shakespeare, PIggies because it's Old Willie's Shakespeare's Birthday! 🐹 ❤️ 🎂 ✍️ 🎭 👑 🤴 🇩🇰 🥕

"🎶 But the poet of them all
Who will start 'em simply ravin'
Is the poet people call
The Bard of Stratford on Avon"

~ Brush Up Your Shakespeare, Cole Poter, 1948


"All the world's a stage, piggies!" More than we know. 🖤 🖤 🖤 😉

Need a relevant Shakespearean piggy quote today to impress the herd today? Brush those long-haired piggies and brush up your Shakespeare with this one:

“Though she be but little, she is fierce.” — A Midsummer Night’s Dream

And don't listen to the neigh-sayers! 🐴 Shakespeare's plays remain ever relevant, because they deal with truths about human nature and society, political intrigue, and the cost of dark deeds!

Let us chew over one of his most quoted plays, Hamlet, Piggy Prince of Denmark 🇩🇰… because we know that something is very rotten in the habitat of Denmark (probably a cage that should have been cleaned a while ago). 🤪

And sorry, Ophelia… Hamlet's attention is definitely elsewhere as those new piggy friends are quite demanding! 🐹 🐹

I hope she doesn't take Hamlet's lack of interest too hard ... oh well ... I'm afraid that relationship doesn't end well (at all). 😔 🪦 🌊 🌷 🌺

In fact, here's a quick wrap-up of how things turn out in this play (abridged for guinea pig attention spans).

***

💀 Hamlet’s Extremely Unfortunate Cast List 💀

Hamlet ⚔️😵
Overthinks everything… including how to stay alive.

Polonius 🪟🗡️😬
Hides behind a curtain. Immediate career-ending decision.

Claudius 👑☠️🍷
Plots, poisons… then drinks the wrong vintage.

Gertrude 👑🍷😳
Wine mom but ... “This wine seems… off.”

Ophelia 🌸🌊😢
Flowers, songs, and a heartbreakingly watery exit.

Laertes ⚔️😖☠️
Brings a poisoned sword. Ends up sampling it himself.

Ghost of King Hamlet 👻🛡️😐
Already dead… still micromanaging from beyond.

Yorick 💀🤹‍♂️😄
Court jester turned philosophical skull (sans hat).
Dead early… but somehow gets one of the best scenes.

🐹 Special (Highly Suspicious) Cases 🐹

Rosencrantz and Guildenstern 🐹🇩🇰📜
Loyal friends? Debatable.
Danish guinea pigs? Increasingly likely.
Fate: Sent off with a letter… should’ve read the fine print. ✉️😬

🍷 And Then There’s the winner of Hamlet - Survivor … 🍷

Horatio 😢📖✨
The lone survivor.
Attempts to join the grand tragic finale—denied.
Fate: Lives… to explain all of this. Gets a Netflix deal.

🎭 Final tally:
💀 Everyone dies
🍷 One guy survives
🐹 Two guinea pigs definitely needed better paperwork

How do the guinea pigs figure in, you ask? Well ... new scholarly research has determined that two minor characters, Rosencrantz and Guildenstern, were actually Danish guinea pigs!!! 🐹 🇩🇰

Thee fate of these two characters was later explored in Tom Stoppard's 1966 black comedy play, Rosencrantz and Guildenstern Are Dead — and later made into a film! 🎭 🎬

The plot thickens and wheekens! Hang on piggies, it's going to be quite a year!


Wheek! Wheek!