NORTH POLE POLICE DEPARTMENT
Holiday Chaotic Conduct Division
INCIDENT REPORT: Case #1225
SUBJECT: The Missing Sleigh Hay
Suspect Roster & Statements

1. DASHER

Statement: Claims he was “only doing warm-up zoomies” and therefore moving too fast to have interacted with the evidence.

2. DANCER

Statement: Reports she was practicing footwork combinations and cannot cha-cha and chew-chew simultaneously.

3. PRANCER

Statement: Maintains he was engaged in an Instpigram holiday photo session; “too majestic for misdemeanor activity.”

4. VIXEN

Statement: Accuses the department of “bullying” and "slander" states she has been “100% framed, obviously.”

5. CUPID

Statement: Declares he was spreading seasonal goodwill and wouldn’t dream of committing “hay-related heartbreak.”

6. DONDER

Statement: Offered no verbal response. Did emit one (1) dramatic WHEEK. Unclear meaning.

7. BLITZEN

Statement: Attributes all suspicious events to “static electricity,” including the hay blast radius.

8. RUDOLPH

Statement: Claims his glowing nose unfairly biases witnesses and cameras alike.

NOT PICTURED – ALIBI VERIFIED
COMET

Statement: Not present in lineup; confirmed to have been scrubbing the sink at the time of the incident. 😜 😜 😜


Summary

With nine reindeer suspects providing nine highly questionable alibis, the case remains ongoing.
Further investigation is required—and possibly a fresh bale of hay.

Wheek! Wheek!