I'M NOT REALLY SHOUTING AT YOU, PIGGIES & PALS! IT'S NATIONAL CAPS LOCK DAY! SHIFT HAPPENS! 🐹 🤪 🤪 🤪 🤍 🖤 🤍 💻 ⌨️ ⌨️ ⌨️ 🥕

HEY HUMAN! FEED ME!!!!! HEY, HUMAN! HAY, HUMAN! GET BUSY!

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REMEMBER WHEN IT WAS RUDE TO SHOUT AT SOMEONE BY USING ALL CAPITAL LETTERS WHEN TEXTING OR EMAILING?

REMEMBER WHEN PROGRAMMING LANGUAGES WERE DOMINATED BY THAT OBNOXIOUS ALL CAPS FORTRAN LANGUAGE?!

NO? WELL, ANYWAY ... TODAY YOU'RE ALLOWED LEAN ON THAT CAPS LOCK KEY OR HAVE A GUINEA PIG TYPE ON YOUR KEYBOARD FOR YOU!

HONESTLY, WHO MAKES THIS SHIFT UP? 🤪

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HOW ABOUT A LITTLE FORTRAN, PIGGIES? WATFOR (sic) YOU ASK? 🤪

WELL ....

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PROGRAM GUINEA_PIG

C GUINEA PIG-APPROVED

INTEGER LETTUCE
LOGICAL HUNGRY

LETTUCE = 10
HUNGRY = .TRUE.

10 IF (HUNGRY) THEN
PRINT *, 'WHEEK! WHEEK! WHEEK!'
PRINT *, 'MORE LETTUCE REQUIRED.'
END IF

IF (LETTUCE .GT. 0) THEN
LETTUCE = LETTUCE - 1
GOTO 10
END IF

PRINT *, 'ERROR 404: LETTUCE NOT FOUND.'
PRINT *, 'VOLUME INCREASED TO MAXIMUM.'

C GUINEA PIG REMAINS HUNGRY REGARDLESS OF INPUT

GOTO 10

END

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THAT'S LOGIC! GUINEA PIG LOGIC, THAT IS!

WHEEK! WHEEK!