measure your weight in guinea pigs
A Guinea-pig Song
by Anonymous (1773)
There was a little guinea-pig,
Who, being little, was not big;
He always walked upon his feet,
And never fasted when he eat.
When from a place he run away,
He never at the place did stay;
And while he run, as I am told,
He ne'er stood still for young or old.
He often squeaked, and sometimes violent,
And when he squeaked he ne'er was silent.
Though ne'er instructed by a cat,
He knew a mouse was not a rat.
One day, as I am certified,
He took a whim and fairly died;
And as I am told by men of sense,
He never has been living since.